Let me start by saying I have never hosted a Friendsgiving. I’m not the best host for big events. Cooking is a necessity that is only occasionally enjoyable for me. I appreciate festive decorations, but I rarely have the patience to create or arrange them. I’m one of those people who really doesn’t mind going out to a restaurant on Thanksgiving Day, because then at least you don’t have to clean up afterwards.
But I have attended some pretty memorable Friendsgivings, and I think I’ve figured out what makes them great.
1. Good food
Sorry, but you really can’t get around this one. In my experience, it works best if the host and his/her roommates prepare the hot-ticket items like the turkey, mashed potatoes, and gravy. But seeing as the host is slaving over a hot oven and welcoming upwards of five to 10 people into his/her home (which may or may not be partially destroyed by the end of the evening), it’s only fair that everyone else should be expected to bring a side dish, dessert item, or other supplies needed for the event. Plus, you end up with some interesting non-traditional dishes when you make everyone bring something. This year, I got hashbrown casserole and Kings Hawaiian rolls – two things I wouldn’t normally put on a Thanksgiving menu but was pretty psyched to find there regardless.
2. Plentiful alcohol
Unless you’re not into that sort of thing. (In which case, why are you hosting a Friendsgiving?) It’s particularly fun when your host mixes up a festive punch or sangria and guests can have a glass or two*. It’s expected that everyone will bring something they want to drink, though, whether that be beer, wine, or liquor. When someone is roasting you a turkey, the least you can do is buy your own alcohol.
*Special shoutout to my friend Kelsey, who always makes the best sangria
3. A diverse group of people
This almost always happens by default, as it’s likely that the host is going to invite friends and coworkers whom they’ve met in different capacities and who therefore likely don’t know each other. As a result, I’ve walked away from almost every Friendsgiving I’ve been to with new friends, or at least friendly acquaintences, some of which are from different cities or even different countries. As a side note, it’s a pretty cool experience inducting people from other countries into the weird tradition that is an American Thanksgiving celebration. There’s nothing like overeating and binge drinking to make you feel like a patriot.
4. At least one thing that goes wrong
It could be anything from a failed dessert to a shattered wine glass or a drunk friend who starts spouting offensive statements with abandon. (I admit that last one isn’t exactly benign, but it sure makes things memorable. Plus, you see people’s true colors pretty quickly. It’s good information to have.) “But Becca,” you say. “Wouldn’t you want everything to go as planned?” I mean, I guess you could have a perfectly organized and well-behaved Friendsgiving that everyone will forget a month later. But I’m telling you how to have a memorable event, not a perfect one. Perfection is boring.
5. Good stories
My favorite is a ridiculous “Story of Thanksgiving” told by my friends last year (see below), but tales about crazy nights out, descriptions of obnoxious or strange family members, and gossip about people at Friendsgiving by other people at Friendsgiving also do the trick.
Bonus: decorations
Decorations are not required. You can have a perfectly wonderful time with good friends and good food. But it does add a nice aura of festiveness to the occasion.
Additional bonus: pets
Just because I like animals. The best parties I’ve ever been to involved pets. I challenge you to describe a mental state better than being wine-buzzed and playing with a tiny puppy.
I leave you with the Story of Thanksgiving, as told by two of my dearest friends in about 10 seconds at Friendsgiving 2015.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BNCqAfuFYBY/?taken-by=beccastarkes
P.S. Interested in why I’ve been so busy lately? Check out my latest articles for College of Charleston Magazine here and Charleston City Paper here (and a little sidebar here that is completely irrelevant because the event has already happened).
becca starkes 