becca starkes

I’m moving out of my downtown Charleston townhouse in three days and, like most College of Charleston grads, I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I’m ready to move on. After years of putting pressure on myself to simultaneously write perfect papers, always get A’s on tests, hold internships and part-time jobs, and somehow have a social life, a change of pace would be nice.

But on the other hand, I’m going to desperately miss this place.

I became an adult in Charleston. Or, at least, an almost-adult. I found lifelong friends here. I met classmates and coworkers and mentors. I ate. A lot. I studied and learned. I laughed and cried. I tripped on the bricks of College of Charleston’s campus so many times that I stopped feeling embarrassed about it. And while I didn’t love every second of it (being stuck in my house for five days during the weather event I’ve dubbed The Great Flood of 2015 was not my favorite), I could not have chosen a better place to spend these four wonderful, terrible, stressful, carefree, perfect years.

With that in mind, here’s what the city has taught me.

1. History is important.
   It’s hard not to feel the weight of history when you live in a place with so much of it. Every place “has” history, but so many things that have happened or begun or ended in Charleston have made it into the history books. Not every town can say that. That’s why the tragedy at Emanuel AME was felt so deeply by those who were here at the time. It’s the feeling that centuries of history still affect this city and the people who live here, and that we have to examine history to acknowledge the need for change in society. It’s not an easy or a fun lesson, but it’s an important one.
   
   
2. Live somewhere beautiful – and don’t take it for granted.
   

   Colonial Lake is open, weather is 💯, & my neighbors gave me a bottle of wine just for stopping by. You could say tonight is going well.

   — Becca Starkes (@beccastarkes) May 16, 2016

   It wasn’t until my junior or senior year, when things were coming to an end, that I started to have movie-worthy moments of silent admiration for the beauty of the College of Charleston campus and the city as a whole. I’d be sitting on a bench on a quiet day, or on a run to the Battery, or walking around the newly-renovated Colonial Lake and thinking, “I get to live here?” Living somewhere beautiful improves your mood on a bad day and makes nice weather damn near magical. Call me crazy, but I think that’s worth it.

3. Eat everything – AKA broaden your horizons.

   

   I’ve always loved food. My parents affectionately call me “the son they never had” because I eat teenaged-boy-sized portions. But it wasn’t until I moved to Charleston and started exploring the city that I started trying new things and developing a more refined palate. I’m an infinitely more well-rounded person because I pushed myself out of my comfort zone while living here – not just with food, but also with meeting new people, studying new subjects, and trying things professionally that utterly terrified me. I’m a creature of habit so I understand being hesitant about change, but I think everyone ought to try new things regularly. Or else life gets boring quickly.

4. Be nice, and appreciate nice people.
   Southern hospitality is no myth. Charleston is consistently voted one of the best cities in the world, if not the best, not just because of its history, beauty, and culinary prowess but also because of its people. Strangers here ask you how you’re doing, and they might actually be interested in your answer. Many cities can harden you because you don’t want to talk to strangers on the street – and don’t get me wrong, Charleston has plenty of interesting characters you might want to avoid – but most people are kind, and your day will be brighter if you don’t shut them down when they say hello. Being nice, even faking it sometimes, can improve your attitude and others’ attitude toward you. I think it makes people more apt to listen to you, approach you with opportunities, and even give you a job. Attitude can make all the difference.
5. Breathe.

When you’re stressed because you’ve got 10 different assignments at school or work, your family is getting on your nerves, you can’t find an apartment for next year, or the job search isn’t going well, take a minute to absorb your surroundings, clear your head, and remember that everything will work itself out. Living in a beautiful place is helpful, but Charleston is also great because of its small-town feel. Even when your life seems to be speeding by at 100 miles an hour, this city slows you down. Don’t let it pass you by.

Charleston, I love you. I will miss you. And in the words of the great Arnold Schwarzenegger:

I’ll be back.